sweet simplicity

So we have finally reached the end of the 6th week. We had our final weigh out this morning. Unfortunately, i was 10lbs short of making the goal weight loss of 20lbs. BUT i will admit that this process did teach me a lot. A lot more than I thought it was throughout this whole program. Everyone kept telling me throughout the 6 weeks that they could notice a different and see that ive lost weight (in my face especially) but it is just so hard for me to see if for myself. I will say though, that I do notice that when I workout (somedays more than others) I do feel like ive gotten better at handling cardio and BURPEES! omg burpees are death but i definitely can tell a difference from where I started to where i am now. So I am happy for that small non scale victory. I plan to now not just really look at the number on the scale but to how i feel and probably measurements of my body versus amount of weight. Because if i plan to gain more muscle and hopefully more booty, then that number is just another number. I want to look and feel good! 

It was honestly a really good way to jump start losing a large amount of weight in a short amount of time. I think? I mean, I have never really done any kind of program like this, except for a short term juice cleanse or a reset program. But nothing as intense as this. I know that I would not have lost the 10lbs just my working out and trying to depend on my own self motivation. I have been trying that for years and just was never able to push myself. I’m sure moving out of state contributed to this as well. 

I am grateful that I can now say that I went through this challenge, completed it and didn’t fall off the wagon in the process. I didnt cheat! Kudos to me! lol I know a lot of people that fell off the wagon but got back on and kept pushing, which i totally admire. While I also heard that half of the people dropped out of the program half way. I’m super glad that I didn’t give up. As much as I wanted to so bad! Because traveling while being on this program was so hard. I have to really thank everyone who supported me and pushed me and didnt let me make bad decisions AS MUCH AS I BEGGED TO– they really pushed me to not give in to temptation and stick to it. So Thank you.. You guys saved me from myself. LOL 

So now it is time to take a deep breathe and just relax for a quick second, before i start going hardcore into trying to learn how to live a better and healthier lifestyle. It is the end of one journey and the beginning to a new life(style). 

Till next time!

So it has been awhile since the last time I was here. A lot has actually changed since then. We had a second weigh in at week 3 and were supposed to be down at least 5lbs. I of course did not make the cut, i was right at the edge at 4.8lbs. I messaged the nutritionist and she had me on a carb cycle to help me lose the weight faster. It worked a little bit, but i also started taking magnesium citrate to help me poop! My body is so weird, because some days it will work and some days it wont. It’s never consistent. And then around week 5 we had our last check in weigh in before our final weigh out. Our goal was to be -12lbs minimum, and of course i didn’t make that one either. I was barely at -7.6. So I had to go back onto a carb cycle (which was brutal since i had to travel for work and not having carbs with a layover going to Florida was killer.) Now im not allowed to have almond milk for the rest of the challenge. 

We are now in the final week of the challenge. WEEK 6! Today is Wednesday so we are halfway to the finish line. My final weigh in will be Friday Morning, since I have to travel to the East Coast this weekend for work again. I haven’t weighed myself since the last weigh in, so im not sure how much weight I would actually be able to lose in a week, but I’m hoping that I can at least lose 15lbs. I know its so far fetched to think that I could lose 7.4lbs in a week, when it took me 5 weeks to lose that much, but thats how much I feel like I need to lose to be where i would like to be. I mean, i know 20lbs is for sure out of reach (the nutritionist even told me. which is a whole different story/rant that I will try to post about later), but I want to at least be down closer to 15lbs than 10lbs. 

I will admit though, throughout this whole process I was pretty negative. I hated that I felt like i didnt see any results, i didnt feel any different and i just felt like it wasnt working. People around me would tell me that they see that I’ve lost weight but i just felt like I didnt agree with them. I felt like they were just saying that because they havent seen me in a long time and they knew i was doing this challenge. But after this past weekend, I started to see a difference (It may have been because i ate all of 2 meals for the entire weekend, so i was pretty deprived of food so of course naturally I would look like I lost weight) but i started to feel a little bit more positive about this whole experience. I definitely would not do it again because i think they promoted this whole program wrong, BUT it was a good jump start to really getting into having a better lifestyle and motivation to keep losing the weight. I may not have reached the goal of 20lbs but losing weight in general has motivated me to keep losing. I am definitely going to have a different meal plan for myself because this one was just so brutal, and i felt like no one even explained why it was the way it was. So it was hard to be totally 100% okay with it, but that also helped me to do research on my own and make me want to learn more about nutrition and the food we eat daily. It made me more away and conscious of the different kinds of processed foods that we eat all the time and really finally pushed me to start doing what I have been telling myself to do for years now. So yeah, in the end I feel like I did gain something from this experience. 

I am not going to lie. These past 6 weeks were tough and it really pushed me to teach myself more self-control. I traveled for 3 weekends out of the whole challenge, and was presented with so much temptation, but I am super proud of myself for not giving in….as much as I really really really wanted to. I’m so proud to say that I really didnt cheat this whole 6 weeks, while I would see people in our Facebook group talk about how they fell off the wagon and cheated. Even my cousin cheated, but I am so glad I controlled myself as much as possible. SHOOT, I even went to Walt Disney World and did NOT give into temptation there. Even though I gave myself a headache for fighting with myself whether I should or not. Because I mean, hello! How often to do you get to go to Walt Disney World and get all of their exclusive Disney food and desserts?! But somehow, i don’t know where I found the strength, but I did and luckily had the will power to not give in. I do have to give it up to my friends at work for helping me. They would motivate me to not give in and stick with it. So i am very grateful for their support. 

I will admit that I did eat a natures valley granola bar on the plane (not super cheat meal but its not on the approved list of bars to eat. BUT it was the healthiest one i could find at the airport because i didn’t want to die on the plane with no food) The upside is that i didn’t eat the free peanuts or pretzels on the plane! I also ate a little bit of egg yolk with some hard boiled eggs that I had, which is also not bad like eating pizza, but still not approved for us to have for the challenge. 

So my “cheating” I don’t consider it cheating because it wasn’t like i had alcohol and pizza over the weekend. So I am still proud of myself and am amazed at where it came from. But after the challenge I’m worried that will all go away.

I just really need to find my niche and what works best for me and my body. Will send updates as soon as i do my final weigh out. Till then!

We had our first weigh in yesterday. I came in at a whopping -1.8lbs. -_-

We were supposed to be at least -2lbs or more but (not that i’m trying to make excuses or anything) but I did just have my little monthly friend come visit me the night before. So it was technically one of my heavier days so I’m hoping that in reality, after all of the bloating has gone away, that i am actually -4lbs at least. (they said that you gain about 2lbs when you are on it) Everyone else has been posting that they have like 4/6/8/10 lbs! it’s crazy! I mean, obviously that’s so awesome for them and i’m so glad. But I just wish that I could have those same results. 

So just crossing fingers that my little monthly friend will be gone and next weigh in will yield better results. But for now, I am still pushing through with these meals (btw, i find myself getting hungry around the times that I am supposed to be having my meals. So I am hoping that means that my body is starting to get used to the every 3 hours schedule) and i will for sure push myself harder in workouts. I don’t know if my body is getting more used to working out every day, or if i’m just not doing my best, but I haven’t been feeling as sore as i used to after a workout. Still trying to look at the brighter side and will really try to push myself as hard as I can in workouts. I am trying to let my fear of my heart condition not be at the top of my mind during workouts. 

Well, the last couple of classes I chose to do actual burpees, the right way, instead of using the modification they gave me. So that was a big plus. And I’m doing regular jumping jacks and am really trying to push myself to complete each station without taking a break. Not sure if our trainers are told to get harder on us as we are in our 2nd week, but yesterday trainer was really tough on us. It was scary, but in the end it’s all good for you. It’s nice to have someone push you because we all know that it’s hard to push ourselves. 

Today is core & cardio day. Probably one of the hardest things for me because i have ZERO core strength and we all know cardio is difficult for me because of my heart. So I am really going to push it, push it, to the limit, limit! hahah. okay I’m done. This is my update so far. WEEK TWO LETS GO!  #ROADTO20 !! I BETTER HAVE THAT BIKINI READY BODY BY JUNE! lol! *help me*

So I definitely have not been on here in YEARS, but I’ve been starting to go crazy recently. I normally would just tweet my frustrations and feelings, but I deleted my twitter app from my phone to get better at not needing to do that.–Just random rants on twitter to the whole world. So instead of twitter, i started just texting my boyfriend and some friends. But even then, I was starting to feel bad. Just bitching to them all the time. To my boyfriend, I’m not worried as much because he should know how crazy I am. He needs to know this. LOL.

So, after awhile of urges to want to tweet my pain to the world, i realized that I still have Tumblr! I mean, Tumblr definitely looks different now than it was when I was first on here and I am not really sure who is actually still on here….so i’m just going to treat this as my online journal/record for my future self. Hopefully, it will be myself in 5 weeks looking back on this post and thinking how foolish i was and how much all of this BS was worth it in the end. Future me— you better be FIT AF and better have lost 20+ pounds and gotten that $$ back!!! 

If anyone has made it this far in this already long post, kudos! (even though i highly doubt anyone is on Tumblr anymore) But forewarning, I am really just typing this all out to get it all out of my system and to hopefully really get through these 5 weeks and really get to see how much progress I have made. So you don’t really need to read all of this. And yes, I know… you are probably saying that I could have written this privately somewhere or on my live journal or whatever else online diary/journal thing that is out there. But TBH I am SUPER LAZY to think about it and Tumblr was the first thing that came to my life. So yeah, deal with it.  

Moving on, so to catch you up on what is going on, I moved to Las Vegas and started a new job. Long story short, I live with my cousin for the time being and she basically conned me into trying out this free 7 day trial at a cross fit training gym called Raw Fitness. So we took the classes (4 out of the 7 days) and actually really liked it. They kicked my ass, don’t get me wrong. But at the end of the workouts I felt good about starting to try to get back into shape AND the people there are just so supportive, that it made the experience that much better. So overall, we enjoyed our trial experience, but i for sure was not down to commit to their memberships. It is SO expensive. I just kept telling myself that I have 10 kickboxing classes i signed up for via Groupon also (yeah my cousin made me sign up for all these things the moment i moved out here) so i didn’t want to pay right now for anything else. I figured, the apartment gym will do on top of the kickboxing classes. BUT one day, my cousin was super into trying out this 6 week challenge after experiencing Raw Fitness, because her friend had done it and lost so much weight and looked really good. So this is how it all happened. I literally sold my soul to Raw for 6 weeks. The 6 week challenge is to lose 20 lbs in 6 weeks. I know, it seems like a crazy amount right? 20 lbs!!! So if you lose the 20 lbs in 6 weeks you get all of your money back. Since my cousin’s friend got through it and succeeded, she felt like she could do it too. She thought the meal plan would be the hardest part for her and I thought the workouts would be the hardest part for me. But nope, the meal plan is actually way harder than i thought it was going to be. NO SUGAR, NO ALCOHOL (obviously), NO SALT, NO TO BASICALLY EVERYTHING! haha. But really though, no sugar has been the worst for me. 

Detoxing from sugar is so hard. The headaches, the fatigue, the mood swings. I have it all! haha. They say that detoxing from sugar is very similar to detoxing from upper drugs such as cocaine. At first I was like no way. But after going through a whole week, i saw the similar side effects. I NEVER KNEW I WAS A DRUG ADDICT! lol! But seriously, it was tough. Over the weekend, I went to my friends husband’s birthday party and seriously guys… it was so hard. There was food everywhere and cupcakes, cakes, tarts, desserts ALL OVER THE PLACE! I was dying. But I just kept thinking to myself, all of the pain and headaches and struggle I went through during the week, would only get worse if i fuck it up now. All of the work my body is doing to detox from sugar would all be fucked up if I just had one little bite of that cupcake. I didn’t want to do that to my body. PLUS i didn’t want to go risk possibly going through worse side effects, if i had even an ounce of sugar that may affect that. Who knew I had so much self-control?! I for sure didn’t. ALSO a huge reason why I try so hard is because I want to get my $300 back! lolol. And of course, the ultimate reason why I am doing this– to start cleaning up my body to begin a healthy lifestyle for my future self and my future family. Because we all know the issues I already have with my body (heart palpitations, GERD/acid reflux, etc) worries me for my future kids. I want to make sure that I am healthy enough for them to be healthy at birth. 

It is now the beginning of week 2. The weekend was seriously the hardest. Being back at home and at a party with so many temptations–food, alcohol, sweets! But i powered through and am kind of proud of myself. Even though getting in those 6 weeks at the exact times were hard, i still managed to do the best I can. I did, to be honest, end up weighing myself this weekend (its one of the rules of the program that you cannot weigh yourself at home) but i just wanted to see if i was on track. Or at least was not gaining weight. And i sadly only lost 1lb. But I’m kind of glad I saw that because it really made me think about the past week and how i can really push my self more in the workouts and to really dedicate myself to this thing for 5 more weeks. I already foresee so many obstacles to come throughout these next 5 weeks (traveling every weekend of May for WOD, my heart palpitations in the workouts, family gatherings, etc) but I am going to try to pre-plan as much as possible and get more on top of it. Because this past week, I kind of just went with the flow for the week and let my cousin pretty much tell me what to do. But now I am going to take more control of my schedule and my meals and my life, so that I can yield the best results. EEK just writing that is making me nervous. Welp. Today is another day. I kind of lost my train of thought so i’m just going to end it now. But hopefully this all didn’t bore any of you, if you have made it this far. Thanks for reading and hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with this program and keep up with the updates. Wish me luck!